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How will future girlfriends react?

How will future girlfriends react?
T

thicc_lover

New Member
Feb 8, 2025
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So I've been thinking about this a long time and wondered if you decide to stop punting so you can pursue a long term relationship, how would a new partner react if you were to tell her that in the past you paid women to have sex with them or in my case, lose your virginity by paying for it.

The main reason why I'm worried about this is because I've read on other sites where this question is asked and there is an overwhelming majority of girls saying that they would be repulsed by this and consider it an instant dealbreaker. Now granted, most of these girls were probably from America or parts of Europe where this hobby is pretty much illegal and the unethical uncertainty of whether the women working are forced into it against their will or not. But even still they were saying things like "Men who view sex as a commodity is a big red flag" or "The fact that he's resorting to paying someone to lose his virginity makes him pathetic".

Reading these comments made it a big hurdle for me to overcome before I decided to lose my virginity by paying it for but in the end I just decided fuck it and thought who gives a fuck what anyone else thinks. But I'd be lying if I said there was no part of me that was worried about what a future partner would think about it. I guess there's also the option of just simply not telling her at all since it's not really any of her business. So does anyone know how the average Kiwi woman would react?
 
Good questions.

Obviously you're not pathetic for losing your cherry to someone who will be discreet about it forever.

It sounds similar to the dilemma when SWs date: At what point do they reveal that they were/are SWs. Opinions vary, but around date number 4 seems to be popular, with "first date" and "never" being extremes.

And you're not "viewing sex as a commodity" by paying for one-on-one adult entertainment, the quality of which (as a fantasy) is unlikely to ever be matched by a partner. Possibly this is where the negativity comes from: Partners might feel insecure that they'll never compare to some of the experiences you've had, in the same way that men might have anxiety over how good they are compared to all of her previous partners. But partnership is about intimacy and building something together rather than peak experience. Find yourself a keeper who's sex positive enough to understand this already, or get her a yoni massage for her birthday and go from there.
 
I suspect you are overthinking it a little.
Not many 'first time' experiences are that great; Mine was underwhelming, I was nervous as heck, had no idea what I was doing. If you got to the stage with a partner where you were comparing 'How I lost my V' stories, you don't have to mention the detail it was a paid encounter, just the basics is all you need to share.
I say good on you for taking control and making your first experience happen like this. Better that than the drunken fumbling in a car or silent awkward quickie up in your gf's bedroom with her parents downstairs - I bet your first was better than many. 👏


When you get to a serious relationship, most of us don't share the intimate details of previous partners out of respect. It's the same with your previous sex with working girls; there is no good reason to discuss all past sexual details of your life, it is almost always uncomfortable for a partner.
 
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I was one such guy. At 17, I was shy, with low self esteem and terrified to ask girls out. One day I decided I'd go to a massage parlor. And when the topic of extras came up, I said, "Yep, I'm up for it. BTW, I'm a virgin."

Ouila! Virgin no longer! 🕺

Never seemed to be an issue for future partners. At least the ones I told. One even thought it was cool that I did.

Do I regret losing my virginity to a SWer? No. It sucked still being a virgin at 17. But I do regret not realising my own self worth. There were plenty of women who wanted me but I didn't see it at the time. Too much tunnel vision and thinking I wasn't good enough when it came to the women I fancied.

Let's face it, many guys are paying for sex anyway. Wining and dining. Expensive gifts. Plenty of gold diggers out there who'll open their legs for the right amount of pampering. No different to the sex workers really. The SWers are just more honest about it.

You don't have to tell any future partner how you lost your virginity. Make up a story. Say you had a one-night stand at a party and you don't even remember her name. No one's gonna find out the truth, are they? Unless you told a heap of people. I wouldn't bring up the topic anyway. I would never ask a woman about her first time. I'd let her bring it up herself. Their first time might not be something they want to talk about.
 
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You answered your own question in your final paragraph - ultimately, it’s no-one else’s business.

Hopefully, you’ll meet prospective life partners who are open minded, and intelligent, enough to manifest more than a bigoted, unitary, response.
 
Unfortunately us men need sex all the time unlike most women . You need to look her straight in the eye and lie because no point telling her about the past .
 
Find woman very supportive, understanding and interested in the industry .
Most have been with are happy to continue punting on a full time basis.
 
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