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Speed dating pros cons etc not looking for quick sex or hookups

Speed dating pros cons etc not looking for quick sex or hookups
C

Cmtc5667

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Wolf
Oct 12, 2024
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Hi there this question is more for younger punters out there who are still active in the dating world. Has anyone tried speed dating pro cons etc. are they worth it?
Is the quality of people there any good? Is it only good for platonic friends? The reason why I’m looking at this I don’t want to grow old alone I guess and plus I dont want to punt forever it’s not cheap and I would like to at least have a go at a relationship once in my life. Look I know all you old timers will say stress divorce lack of sex and what not but I’m young and maybe one day If the world ever gets in to shape I might want kids to who knows just thought I would ask about speed dating because the apps are a scam thanks.
 
I don't know much about speed dating and God online dating is awful! But i found that the best way is to meet people organically and to do that you need to get into a new hobby like running club, partner dancing or even acro yoga for example. The best ones tend to be ones where you end up in close proximity to the other sex 😛 as that creates some kind of bond at times and man a girl sure loves a man who knows how to whirl her around on the dance floor 😜 Good luck.
 
Sahara said:
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I agree for the most part, but I wouldn't join a hobby group just for the sake of finding a girlfriend. All the hobby groups I've joined were predominantly male but there were a few girls there too.

But yeah I think running, dancing, and acro yoga will have a lot women there though, but I think OP needs to actually enjoy dancing and running.
 
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There are a lot of pretty girls in those activities 😍 dancing can be scary for some but when going to class, they will teach you where to put your hands and where you feet goes (not how to shake your booty). More of a memory game. I've seen plenty of socially awkward guys do well in that area. Especially the nerdy ones who love a mind challenge plus it adds a huge boost to your confidence. Highly recommended xx
 
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Have you tried Tinder, Ok Cupid, Bumble or Hinge? I know online dating has its pitfalls but there are hotties on there. I have had good long term relationships with women I met on the apps.

An advantage of dating apps is you both know you are there to date. It is certainly fun meeting women at hobbies or activities, but most women are there to do that hobby or activity rather than to meet a man.
 
massagefan said:
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Well yeah obviously don't do a hobby you don't enjoy doing. It should be fun for you as well.

If you do opt in for online dating. Please please please 🙏 make an effort to take good photos with flattering angles, no filters and no dead animals. If you are going to ask her out for a meet up, make it as easy as possible for her. Close location, pick a place or an activity. something simple like a drink so one of you could bail at anytime if you don't click and to save your money if you planning on doing plenty of those. I hate being asked "where would you like to go?" "Are there any places near you that are good?". I will already be spending hours getting ready and that's already more than enough effort for me. A video call introduction is always a good idea too. I couldn't believe the amount of guys that were offended I wanted a video call before a meet up 😅.
 
It's rather unfortunate as the apps forces you to judge people purely on looks only and that never works for men since most guys are rather average looking compared to women. If women judged you purely on your looks, then you don't stand a chance. That's why meeting organically and creating a bond through a shared hobby works best 🤷‍♀
 
That’s what I mean with apps it’s all unfortunately about looks and yea attraction is definitely part of it but it’s always better to see people in person I believe and I find it so much easier than trying to sell yourself on a app for sure
 
I have been to a couple of speed dating events in the past 6 months. One big advantage they have over the apps is that you obviously see the person IRL - no wondering if their app images are overly flattering or filtered or hiding some unseen sin. And ideally you see if you click in the brief chat, rather than the app messaging process which can be difficult. Even the speed dating chats can be a mixed bag though; if the other person is friendly and open it's great. But if they're more reserved it can be challenging, and you have to make an effort not to make every chat a job interview/CV situation where you each just say what you do and where you live etc...that style quickly becomes tiresome. IMO much better to have a relaxed chat about something inane and inconsequential; it's not so much what you speak about as how the convo flows.
I found the 'quality of people' varied from quite nice to not so much, with most of the rest falling somewhere in between...so not much different to regular life (or even punting for that matter).

As far as my personal experiences, I found the in-person dynamic a little nerve-wracking but good for confidence overall. The ideal is that the process means people are more conscientious and genuine, as opposed to the disposable/ghosting nature of the apps...but after the event is over and you're back in a messaging paradigm, it seemed that flaky messaging dynamic came back into play.
I would nevertheless recommend it just to satisfy your curiosity. I'll try another in future, but it does require time + effort + cost and you can feel a bit wiped out chatting to so many people in quick succession.

Agree with the idea that the best potential for meeting is organically, and the groups/clubs suggestion is valid. For me though my interests aren't usually those that eligible women are drawn to, and I hate the idea of joining something just to meet people - I feel you'd quickly become known as the sifty guy who tries to crack onto all the new women 😆

Sahara said:
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Ha well at least it's refreshing to have some honesty!
Cmtc5667 said:
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Sahara said:
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And this is the paradox of the apps - the average guy will find it very difficult. Whereas the the top 5% of guys unfortunately can afford to be assholes, because they know there's more of the 95% of women out there targeting them. So you're left with a situation where most of the men are underwhelmed with very few bites, and the women are underwhelmed with their bites usually proving to be of poor quality.
 
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Sahara said:
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Yes dating apps do involve a certain amount of judging by looks. However, there are ways around this. Women judge men on more factors than just looks. They like a guy who is funny, can tell interesting stories, has charm and has his life sorted.

I pick photos and write a blurb displaying these traits as best as I can. For example I show pictures of myself doing some interesting activities or in interesting places. I share some humour in my blurb. This stuff is great for provoking conversations.
 
customer said:
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Bang on the money mate I don’t have any expectations with speed dating other than being able to chat to plenty of people I think that is the most important part about it for me also for me poring my heart out on tinder bios just hasn’t worked in fact it was this frustration that is making me think about speed dating. I guess some guys have the charm and some not doesn't mean the ones with out are bad or boring I guess like most kiwi guys charming is just not in our dna
 
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