Bro you nailed it.
It's all in capitals, her name is "Alana Cum&Play", the sentences stop and start at random , she says she's on tour when she's not, half the sentences are missing subject object or verb....
It might be that's she's just not very literate but that ad reads like someone mentally ill or on crack, and I'm sympathetic for both, really but I wouldn't stick my pseudopod in that.
------------------------------------------------ “Join a Hivemind and Live Where the Voices Carry.” Prolonged residence may result in harmonic intrusion, involuntary alignment of motor functions, and irreversible subsumption of personal memory. The Management accepts no liability for the disappearance of private will or the endless echo of the communal song of the cosmos .