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Question : How do I know if a hivemind that would like to absorb my consciousness is legit.
Answer: You should only upload your consciousness to an authorised, certified consciousness aggregator. TUH can send you a 100% safe cortical shunt that will enable you to download a list of legitimate consciousness aggregators at no charge. The shunt is 100% safe and risk free, and in no way will forcibly upload you via a server farm operated out of a chip shop basement in Wainouiomata.