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A possible alternative to outright banning of Indian Men!

A possible alternative to outright banning of Indian Men!
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GreyElmo

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Look, let's be real here, the reputation of Indian punters is currently in the toilet.
You have providers putting "No Indians" on their ads or cleverly and quietly filtering them out with simple questions.
To the decent Indian guys out there: yeah, it sucks to be painted with the same brush, but you can’t blame the girls for protecting themselves when the "bad apple" rate is this high.
The problem is probably a mix of two things: straight-up entitlement due to the "cultural patriarchal upbringing", or "plausible deniability" (pretending they didn't know the rules).
I’m suggesting a possible workable alternative. Instead of just banning Indians, providers could put a Hard Gate in place. Make the rules impossible to ignore.
To the Desi punters out there, I think you could use some guidance and sobering up in navigating the world of escorts!
Here is a draft of a Code of Conduct in English, Hindi, and Punjabi.
You can potentially make it contractual to the Desi punter and have them agree to this before they get the booking.

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Hindi Version (हिंदी)
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Punjabi Version (ਪੰਜਾਬੀ)
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How can you enforce it for those that agree initially but in the sex session, they continue on with their aggressive manner?

In escort houses, you have a bouncer on site. But for the private working girl, they don't have that to their disposal.
 
sbq said:
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A text message isn't a bouncer, and it won't physically stop an attack, that's true.
The goal of this 'Gate' is not enforcement; it is to act as a filter.
It gives the conscientious guys a chance to distinguish themselves from the impulsive, brutish people who are too lazy to read or comply.
Bad actors usually look for easy, low-friction targets. If they see strict boundaries and a 'contract' upfront,
they will often ghost to find someone easier.
This system is there to filter out the problem as much as possible before a person ever enters the room.

You could also talk over the phone with the guy as a final check—judging from their tone whether they sound compliant and respectful, or pushy.
 
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Most are third world savages. They’re banned for a reason. Let the working girls protect themselves and be thankful they have a choice whereas the young girls don’t. Look up the grooming gangs all throughout Europe and Aussie now… import the 3rd world become the fucking 3rd world.
 
@GreyElmo, I appreciate your efforts to figure out a fair solution to the problem, but unfortunately terms of engagement in the body of our ads isn't going to work the way you think it will.

The biggest reason is that unfortunately the majority of clients don't read. A lot of the time this is because otherwise intelligent men will see their reading comprehension disappear in the face of sexy picture of pretty girls. But also the kinds of guys we're trying to protect ourselves against wont read past the phone number... by which I mean they won't even read the hourly rate, which you have to scroll past to get to the phone number. I have patience for people asking clarifying questions about the details of my service - people are only human, and I would rather they ask and be sure, because it makes for a better booking for both of us. But sometimes its clear they haven't even tried to read the information, and that gets frustrating.

The only thing you suggestion really achieves is adding a lot of text between our ad copy and the section that covers our availability, which makes things harder for the people who do read. There's also the risk that we'll come across as jaded or bitter, which costs us good business. So we'll be back to square one - relying on our other more discrete methods of filtering, just with an added downgrade in our desirability.

I'm really sorry to be shooting you down. I can see you're coming from a good place, it's just that you're missing some of the nuances at play. I applaud the attempt regardless.
 
I kinda understand where the ban is coming from. I have a few Indian friends and while they are alright towarda me, as a man and a punter, I would never recommend them any of the places I go to. Some of their attitudes towards marriage, sex and women in general are just so backwards. I've also had several SWers say to me that their worst experiences are with Indian men. It's just how they were brought up in their culture.

I don't wholly support banning though because it's fundamentally stereotyping. There are some Indian men out there (mostly the ones that grew up here) that are considerably better customers.

I'd be in favour of strengthening the legialation to protect SWers (even the ones that are working here without proper visas).
 
A more practical approach might be for more culturally aware Indians to differentiate themselves when booking, with something like "I know you may have had bad experiences with Indians in the past but I am Kiwi in my manners with women. I won't haggle, bite or attempt to stealth you."

@ElodieEvans do you think girls would be more willing to give a new Indian client a chance on receiving something like that? Or is the situation so bad already that it would not be believed?

Indian men, is the suggestion that you acknowledge up front that some of your fellows have let the side down offensive in any way?
 
I wonder if people are trying to solve a problem that the ladies already have figured out. Most prefer SMS contact and the majority are extremely adept at filtering out the timewasters, hagglers and chancers (asking for things not listed as a service). I have lost count of the number of texts I have been shown by ladies that are/were my regulars where the punter tries to negotiate the price, ask for services not on the menu or just asks plain stupid questions that are already answered in the advert. Elodie's point, many punters don't read the profile.

I have no idea of the nationalities or ethnicities of the timewasters, hagglers or chancers. I do know the ladies were all on a short leash and very quickly cut through all of the BS to identify if this was a legitimate punter or not. Often the number would be blocked. Race at this point does not even come into it.

So if someone navigates their way through all of the initial WG gatekeeping and rocks up at the door, most likely the prospective punter has a reasonable grasp of punter etiquette. So I reckon we give the ladies far more credit, they can sniff the bogus punter out through their experience, BS antenna, their suffer no fools mindset and their intuition.

I certainly know any WG worth their salt is not someone to be trifled with.
 
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ElodieEvans said:
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Thank you for sharing your input, Elodie. You are exactly the kind of person I wanted to hear from the most.

But, if you have time, can I run this idea by you one more time please?
I really believe that the 'Teach/State how to behave' approach has great merit in
being able to filter the right kind of people.

Please keep in mind: I am not coming in with an attitude that you have any duty to 'fix' these men or give them a chance.
I 100% support you for wanting to ban them—your safety and peace of mind is non-negotiable.
It is also entirely your business.

It's just that I've taken an interest in trying to solve this problem because I believe people can change given the right input.
I especially believe that there is a subgroup of Desi men who want to get it right by the escort, but genuinely don't know the etiquette.
For example, even I didn't know initially that a shower immediately at meetup was established etiquette,
even if you had already showered before visiting! I had to be told, and now I know.

So what if we take another look at this Code of Conduct and use it as a 'canned response' or
image sent via text/WtsAp during the booking phase? It won't be something that go up on a profile page.

It would work like this:

They text you.

You send the 'Code of Conduct' image / text with instructions to read.

You judge the subsequent response / dialogue.

If they ghost? Good riddance. If they argue? Block. If they show engagement and understanding, then that could be a potential green light.
You can combine this further with phone call vetting or ID vetting;
surely a thug isn't going to struggle against so much friction just to see an escort.
This is 100% hands-off. It leaves the ball entirely in their court. It keeps your ad clean and inviting,
but creates a High-Friction Gate that forces the 'problem demographic' to acknowledge standard etiquette before they get to meet you.
 
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Dude you've done been told many times now.
By me and half a dozen other guys in two threads now, but ok, we're guys so we don't really know not like the way that WGs do.
Then a WG, who is always cogent and logical (as well as knowledgeable and good with sharing the knowledge from the other side of the bed), was very clear with you that what you propose, while well intentioned, will not work, and why it won't work.
She'd know better than you, just like she'd know better than me or anyone else who doesn't do this for a living.
Maybe it is time that you let this particular bone go, take no for answer and find another hobby horse to ride.
 
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