A possible alternative to outright banning of Indian Men!
A possible alternative to outright banning of Indian Men!
- Thread starter GreyElmo
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No idea what you are talking about Greymo. Not aware you can block anyone, only ignore them.
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How is politely running the idea past her with a new tweak, mansplaining?
The solution is now suggested to be used outside the profile and during
the text exchange with the potential client.
This makes it behave differently.
Of course, if she wants to discreetly ban all Indians, then more power to her!
I never contested her agency on the matter.
I was simply inviting her for a second and final consideration of the solution under modified settings.
Just remember, adults are allowed to converse with each other even through disagreement, as long as they are polite and respectful!
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Oh dear, a second and final consideration of the SOLUTION under MODIFIED settings. LOL.
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@FullyShaved How much of a coward are you to block me then pretend to address me with posts?
I can't see what you write unless I log out.lol.
I am not trying to save anyone, you imbecile!
I am trying to provide an alternative to outright banning Desi punters!
How are you this deep in this thread and not realize that?
Come out of hiding and show yourself, if you want me to address you from now on.
I don't care for cowards!
p.s. And no it's not because I ignored you! lol. Ignoring a memer still allows you to click on a post
to reveal the content! You are doing something else here with your account.
I can't see what you write unless I log out.lol.
I am not trying to save anyone, you imbecile!
I am trying to provide an alternative to outright banning Desi punters!
How are you this deep in this thread and not realize that?
Come out of hiding and show yourself, if you want me to address you from now on.
I don't care for cowards!
p.s. And no it's not because I ignored you! lol. Ignoring a memer still allows you to click on a post
to reveal the content! You are doing something else here with your account.
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PS: No idea what you are on about re my account, I am unaware of any other function other than ignore, and you are not on my Ignore list. Maybe it is karma. Now STOP. Move on!
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There's that talent for irony showing itself again.
Elmo, seriously dawg.
You've voiced your opinions, and we've all heard them loud and clear.
You've heard all the other opinions on your idea that you'll be hearing, You're unlikely this deep in to get any others that differ wildly from what has already been said.
Clearly the general consensus, by pretty much everybody that has engaged with you on this, is that nobody else sees the merits in it that you do.
So it would be prudent at this point for your own image to move on from the subject.
If it makes you feel better then just continue to believe that it is a brilliant idea and that everybody else is just too dim to see the greatness of it, which is what you already think.
Cool, feel better now? Good.
Now move on, please for the love of all that is holy
.
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Random conversation i had once with another girlfriend after a few people try to steath her, or force her without consent and she suggested we can either.
1. Charge a indian surcharge, for every dollar they try ti bargain off, we will increase that price by the same amount. Or
2. Charge a security bond, uo to 4x the amount of the rate, same like tenancy bond. Will refund it when they leave their booking if they behave and follow the rules.
As it didnt sound right to straight up say, sorry no indians.
Personally she had a few encounters where end up just denying service straight up. Dont get me wrong they arent all bad, but experience wise tells me 9 out of 10 ruin the fun for the remaining 10%, and some of us end up having to be vigilant.
take this with a grain of salt and abit of satire.
1. Charge a indian surcharge, for every dollar they try ti bargain off, we will increase that price by the same amount. Or
2. Charge a security bond, uo to 4x the amount of the rate, same like tenancy bond. Will refund it when they leave their booking if they behave and follow the rules.
As it didnt sound right to straight up say, sorry no indians.
Personally she had a few encounters where end up just denying service straight up. Dont get me wrong they arent all bad, but experience wise tells me 9 out of 10 ruin the fun for the remaining 10%, and some of us end up having to be vigilant.
take this with a grain of salt and abit of satire.
I agree that what you are trying to achieve is admirable but you are missing something very important.
You are approaching the problem with a respectful and decent mindset. The Indians that are causing the issue do not share this mindset. Elodie has hit the nail on the head these men will not read any of this information no matter how it is delivered.
Having heard directly from some providers just how bad it is dealing with these men I think they are completely justified in using these bans to protect themselves and it is a shame that the respectful ones are caught up in the bans as the overhead to weed out the respectful ones is too much.
I do have a suggestion I don't know if the ladies here would be up for it but perhaps the respectful Indians could ask for a reference where they could give a new provider the number of another provider that would vouch for them.
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If 9 out of 10 Indians misbehave that much, then I would say it's best to just ban them all with "exceptions". The exception being is the Indian person must be vouched by a friend or someone in the industry.
Going down the path of a sur-charge will not work.
Going down the path of asking for a deposit bond, again will not work.
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As it happens, this strategy has already popped up with more concise wording
Alas, I am not every provider, so I can't give feedback on how well it works for securing a booking generally, or as a method for getting around stated boundaries.I want to clarify that I don't have the kind of policies that we're currently discussing, and I don't filter my clientele by such broad categories. But I'm also not going to pretend like I don't know why these kinds of policies are a phenomenon, and I'm noting that there may be a bit of a gap in our understanding of that.
Like you I agree that people can change, and there are people who are unintentionally disrespectful or less pleasant to see purely because they don't know the etiquette. These people are usually pretty obvious in person, and I'm more than happy to give people pointers - I was the teen who suffered for unspoken social rules so I get that pain. Unfortunately, when you have had someone literally laugh in your face for having boundaries, it becomes clear that the issue has nothing to do with knowledge of etiquette. The reality is that there is a subset of the client base that doesn't believe we are real people - who find the idea that they don't get to do whatever they like with the merchandise they have purchased so absurd it's actually funny. And then there are the people who find that succeeding in the "struggle against friction" is most of their fun, and who approach things like premises bans as mere inconveniences rather than a sign they've done something really wrong.
This attitude is not limited to Indian men, and the majority of Indian men do not think like this. But the majority of people who think like this do come from certain subcultures within "Indian culture," (which I put in quotes because the country itself is so vast and varied that there isn't a whole lot that is common across all 1.4 billion people) When the level of disrespect is what it is, you can understand why some providers prefer blunt tools over the stress of having to assess on a case by case basis and then risk getting it wrong.
Personally, I prefer a more fine-tooth comb as I find it serves me better across all demographics - and if I took a broad-brush approach I would have missed out on some really sweet regulars. I have also met Indian immigrants whose awareness of the stereotypes shows up in an obsessive approach to hygiene and an insistence on letting me lead so intense it becomes complete passivity. So yes, this is an issue. But I also understand why some providers take the approach that they do.
Can I suggest that if this kind of advertising applies to you, that provider is saying something about her own ability to provide you with good service? That doesn't make things hurt less I know, but at least you know that before you meet in person and hand over your hard-earned cash. And even if it doesn't affect you, please understand that the most anyone can really do is to keep speaking up and (calmly) pushing back when you hear problematic attitudes.
(That call for calm applies to a few people in this thread by the way......)
You write beautifully Elodie, it's such a pleasure to have you here.
