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Have I ruined my idea of a wife? Please help experienced older punters

Have I ruined my idea of a wife? Please help experienced older punters
I should say it does happen in reverse where the wife isn't fulfilled by her husband. I met a women who was like that. Husband lost interest in sex so she broke up with him and had a lesbian relationship for awhile. Then she decided she missed cock too much and started hooking up with random men (like me) and getting into swinging..

Some men also punish their female partners by withholding sex. Although witholding affection is probably more hurtful to women. 🤣

P.S. I'm not saying I have nor condone such actions.
 
Marriage is so much more than just sex.
You have to live with and be close to her.

People change over time with their bodies, hormones, preferences, energy levels, the list goes on.

I'm married, we get on great. The sex is sex with a lover, deeper and more fulfilling than the casual fun shag with a FWB or SW.
You have to evolve, adapt, learn to enjoy the wonderful parts of it.
 
Do you think you are enjoying sex or the thrill of having sex with different women? Or you are just horny and wants to do it all the time, even if it's the same person. If the latter, maybe can try talking to your current partner about your desires. A wife material woman is hard to come by, as someone already said. But then again, life is short, never settle for anything less :)
 
Ked12 said:
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Sure, but if we are going to flip it, lets not cherry pick, lets flip it all.

Only if I'm not interested in having sex with her. She continues to financially support my lifestyle, I am still her priority, she can never develop feels, she keeps it discreet, shes still takes me out for dinner, away on holiday....... And I reserve the right to change my mind at any time :p:LOL:
 
xxlearnerdriverxx said:
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I get what you’re saying… but also.. you’re implying she doesn’t support you in anyway? Add on to your comment, you’ve also got to carry her children for nine months, go through the pain of childbirth, be her emotional support through everything, clean the house, keep the kids alive, plan events/ birthdays for the kids… idk man yea paying for her stuff is hard and all but I sure as hell don’t see her withholding sex as withholding- as if that’s the only thing she contributes to your partnership
 
Ked12 said:
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Yeap. That would genuinely be fine with me.
It has happened in the past, but she no longer wants that.

My thoughts: As you get older, different things matter.
Women enjoy sex less, but want to be cherished, heard and seen.
Men are happy to be become less seen but still want sex.
If you communicate and are clear on boundaries, a great relationship can be had.
I am generalising, of course, but IMO it is quite common.
 
Both from my personal experience and anecdotal (sample size of 9) in every marriage after a certain point sex frequency is lower, and post kids is significantly lower. For what it's worth, I married a girl who's sexual energy initially was super high and matched my own, but over time her's dropped. That said, when we do have sex, its fucking incredible, it just doesn't happen very often.

For what it's worth, marry the one you share the same values as, not the same sex drive.
 
Ked12 said:
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Hey Ked, nope wasn't implying any of that stuff at all. But I get what you are saying.
I was being a smartass, while pointing out that there is more to it than 'you fuck someone' = 'she fuck someone'
If one of you is not keen on sex, you might happily say 'get that elsewhere' but lets keep the other mutually beneficial things going. And lets set some rules around that.
That would be the ideal setup, but lets face it, in the real world its not usually what happens.

And paying for her stuff is not hard at all. Its what we do.
I assume the same can be said from her perspective on having and raising kids/family.
The only time anything like that gets hard is when its unappreciated. And that goes both ways.

And for the record, yes I would be fine with her getting some elsewhere. But it wouldn't have to be behind anyones back, it could be about sharing experiences, maybe I turn out to be a cuck, maybe shes one, maybe she likes bbc and I don't:ROFLMAO: I definitely have strong lesbian tendencies :LOL: so we could start there..
 
I sometimes wonder how many marriages could actually handle the conversation about opening the relationship, or at least a conversation about the type of sex a couple has - many women harbour more adventurous fantasies than their husbands would guess, but don't share them for fear of judgement (and I daresay the reverse is true too)

After all you married each other for a reason, there's probably a higher chance than you'd think that she'd be open to the idea. The tricky bit is how to phrase the question so her insecurities don't cause a knee jerk reaction, and making sure the rest of the relationship feels solid first.

And if it all goes south.... well, I've never met anyone who regrets getting divorced, no matter how much it cost them financially.
 
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