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"I" need help....ladies and gentemen

"I" need help....ladies and gentemen

Darkne33

Contributor
Wolf
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Hypothetically…

You are young, confident, and composed. You have sun-kissed skin and long, luxuriant hair that rivals that of a Greek goddess. Your figure feels undeniably blessed, shaped with curves that seem almost impossible on such a small frame. There’s something striking about the way it all comes together. You don’t demand attention, but it finds you anyway, effortlessly. You’ve been in the business for several years—starting out with a well known agency before gradually branching into independent work. You manage it all well. You’re successful enough to have a steady rotation of regular clients of your choice and the luxury of a flexible schedule, likely balancing it alongside other conventional “side” hustles in your other time.

Over the years, you’ve mastered the art of emotional compartmentalisation. You know how to leave your feelings in the room. You’ve also sharpened your ability to listen, empathise, and respond in ways that put others at ease. You understand people. You know exactly what to say, and when to say it, to make someone feel comfortable - desired, even.

Then there’s him.

A man in his thirties or maybe forties. Polite. Slightly shy at first. Always well presented, though never over the top flashy. He has the look of someone with a corporate job, the dependable nine-to-five type. Predictable. Secure. A little boring, if being honest.

Conversation flows easily, but mostly because you’ve met his type before. You recognise the patterns, anticipate the cues, and offer exactly what he’s hoping to hear. Occasionally he stumbles over his words, blurting out phrases that feel stolen straight from a romance novel. You smile gently and let it pass, as if it’s perfectly fine.

Physically, he’s unremarkable but pleasant enough — not overly muscular, not too thin. His skin is soft and warm, and it’s actually quite nice to lie beside him, especially after a long day. He respects your boundaries. He follows your rules. Still, there are moments during your routine when the silence lingers, and you find yourself wondering what’s going on inside his head.

He brings small gifts sometimes. Extra cash. Nothing extravagant. Thoughtful, but restrained. He asks about your life and seems to genuinely care about your answers. It’s obvious he likes you— more than he should. But you have others like him. You want him to keep coming back, of course, but only if he stay within the lines. An overly attached client is a dangerous one. Obsession is worse. A stalker? blasphemous!

The future is uncertain, but you know this much: the power is yours.

There are only a few ways this can end.

1. He stays within the lines.
He keeps his boundaries intact and continues seeing you regularly. He never oversteps, never asks for more than what’s offered. His emotions remain carefully managed, and the arrangement stays exactly what it was intended. You share many more sessions together—pleasant, predictable, professional. Nothing more and nothing less.

2. He crosses the line.
One day, he says it out loud. He tells you he loves you. He wants more time, more access, something beyond the transaction. It’s unsettling, and annoying, because you know the truth: this is business. That line is firm, and once crossed, there’s no going back. You won’t allow it to continue.

3. He stays, but he changes.
Something subtle shifts. He becomes quieter, now more restrained. The gifts become infrequent. The poetic words fade into polite conversation. He still books, still shows up, still respects every boundary—but there’s a deliberate distance now. He has learned how to want you without overreaching. It’s safer this way, for both. Less warm, perhaps, but grounded in mutual understanding: transactional only, and nothing more.

4. He replaces you.
One day, he mentions another provider casually, almost apologetically. You smile, unbothered. Clients move on; that’s the nature of it. Still, when he eventually stops booking altogether, you feel a brief, unexpected absence—not loss, more curiosity about how easily people substitute intimacy, and the truthfulness of spoken words.

5. He disappears.
The messages stop. No explanation. No farewell. Just silence. Perhaps he’s finally come to terms with the reality of it—that this connection, however comforting, was always temporary and carefully orchestrated. You never hear from him again.

6. He fades into memory.
Nothing dramatic happens after a few more visits. No confession, no rupture, no final message. Years later, you’ll struggle to remember his face clearly—only fragments remain: the warmth of his skin, the way he avoided eye contact at first, the softness in his voice. He becomes just another quiet chapter in a life full of many.

Please help choose a path. 🙏
 
Part of managing a client base is deciding when the relationship is in danger of getting beyond its boundaries. Good on you for recogising your own feelings in this context.

It might be worth reflecting that all the options you presented are the client making choices.

You have agency here too, even choosing not to talk about your feelings with the client (whist continuing to see him) is a choice.
Maybe there are also responsibilities, if the client is starting to "catch feelings" you could also reflect on what your duty of care to him entails..
If he's paying you (especially as a regular), then do your duties of care involve discontinuing if you think his feelings will get entangled?

Maybe that means you should consider putting the conversation on the table, just "hey, as a professional I wanted to check how you see our relationship...

If he isn't catching feelings, then great, you can continue in a professional format.
If he is (or might be) then you can consider if its appropriate to keep seeing him professionally and if not, maybe that creates space to take the relationship in a new direction?
 
So do you actually like him?

I also agree its a bit brief, how often does he come, how much money is he spending, how long has been coming for, does he have a family? These factors should help decide if theres a problem. From what you've provided he sounds like a respectful client. Men are used to hiding their emotions and in today's environment they may feel a certain a way but not say a word. Are you catching feelings?
 
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Hypothetically…….., there are a number of other important pieces of information that we require to resolve this challenge. Most important are your medium and long term goals in terms of your service career, relationships, children (maybe) assets etc. What are you looking for in life? Then you need to develop some knowledge and understanding of his situation and goals. You can explore this in a relatively safe way by using the “magic wand” question. “If I gave you (him) a magic wand and it could give you anything you wanted, what would your life look like?” If he gives an an answer you can then explore different parts of his answer to gain insight into his goals. You need to have also answered the same question yourself so if he turns the question back on you that you can share yours. If you sense the conversation is not going well then you can always change the topic and ask about Xmas plans or something else mundane. There are lots of other conversations that you can safely have which can take you in a similar direction. Ultimately you need clarity on your own situation and goals to provide a platform from which a comfortable conversation can ensue. I hope this provides some food for thought and that your Xmas 🎄 wishes come true, hypothetically speaking, of course 🙂
 
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