Sounds like the both believe that they are correct.
JeffPhil
If you are so sure that it was a loan, not a gift, then surely you did some of your own due dilligence and got it in writing and signed, so that you can prove what you are saying ... right?
Instead of stalking the lady's family and friends, since you have iron clad proof of your claim, then contact the police, get them to do their job for a change instead of them using taxpayer money and time to guard Maccas drive thrus.
You also need to grow the sense not to lend money to people you basically don't know, certainly not without iron clad documented evidence of the arrangement ... not to sound mean or harsh, but that seems like a boneheaded thing to have done, if your version of events is true.
RussianNatasha:
You seem equally as sure that this was a gift, not a loan.
Being as there was some kind of discussion between you and this other person about the possibility of you going to the South Island, and then money allegedly changed hands, surely you did your due dilligence and got it in writing that the money was a gift with no agreement to pay back or render any services ... right?
Instead of dealing with all the threatening behaviour etc, contact the police, get them to do their job for a change instead of them using taxpayer money and time to guard Maccas drive thrus.
You also need to grow the sense to not take money offered by virtual strangers (who by your own admission was also trying to secure your professional services in a different part of the country), and them not expecting something, if not many things, in return.
Close family and friends parcel out money intended to be loans that are paid back on the never-never, or just as straght out gifts, strangers generally don't do that kind of thing.
What it really sounds (reads) like is a bunch of he said/she said horse shit, where nobody can actually proove what, if anything, was actually agreed to.
In which case, JP, you need to chalk up the alledged loss to as a learning experience and move on.
RN, you need to not take money from people you don't know, well, as it is pretty rare for a relative stranger to just start gifting what has been reported to be a not insubstantial sum of money ... and give the money back (even if your understanding was that it is a gift, as clearly the other person doesn't think that), so that you can shake loose of all the bullshit that you said this character has been visting on you and those around you.
As a westie I can't believe I'm advocating for involving the cops in anything, but you both need to go file a complaint with the cops, and see if they are even willing to waste time following up two diergent stories where it appears nobody has evidence to back up their claims.
What will actually happen, both sides will contiune to circle each other hurling counter narratives the whole while.
Acheiving nothing more than an unsatisfactory status quo.
I can't believe two grown ass adults (one of whome has a public personna of being straight up and forthright) need this kind of stuff pointed out to them.
But just for reinforcement, don't trust strangers, get agreements that inolved the changing hands of money actually written down, and don't take lollies (or in this case cash allegedly) from strangers.
Now shall we return to the orginal question that was being asked by the OP?