• Welcome Notice

    Welcome Guest to SexForum!

    New Zealand’s Fastest Growing Adult Entertainment Forum!

Sometimes free speech too much?

While I refuse to engage directly with the individual that said it, I can't not point out in a general sense that when we are assaulted (because that's what it is when you bite, or intentionally, non-consensually hurt us in any way), there is no 'other side to the story' that condones, explains or excuses this behaviour. And this exact attitude and others like it, are a large part of what makes it so hard for us to report SA's to the authorities. It's in line with 'But what was she wearing though' when women are 🍇d.

What's he gonna say... 'I was hungry?', 'my mouth accidentally connected with her skin and I accidentally clamped down with my teeth even though she asked me not to? 'I have rabbies?'...

Blackmail is also a crime, so is sexual coercion and again there is absolutely nothing he could say in 'his part of the story' that could take any of the hurt or very valid fear away from what Malibu experienced with this POS!
 
Last edited:
LaraX said:
Please, Log in or Register to view quote content!
Click to expand...
Normally I stay out of discussions like these but...

Shifting the what now?!

I don't think there's anything wrong with suggesting WG to make an effort to boost security or screen their clients better.

There are assholes out there, many of them, you think they'd stop being asshole just because we neutered our speech here?

No.

Us suggesting improve security and to better screen client is not us "shifting the blame to the victim", it is our attempt at "protecting the victim" via suggestion, because how else are we supposed to help the victim on this forum?

If I know there's violent gang members active after 8pm in x town, I'd tell all my friends to beware after 8pm x town, preferably stay in doors. Because I know damn well I cannot control the gangs with my speech and behavior.

If giving warning/suggesting safety measure means I'm shifting the blame to the victim, then I'm sorry, I'll be glad to always, and I mean always and forever, be a victim blamer.
 
H3Kevin said:
Please, Log in or Register to view quote content!
Click to expand...

Perhaps we should move to the Australian screening model (and other parts of the world) where many escorts require real life info from clients such as real names, drivers licence or passport pics, workplace info and references from other escorts.

We do not know what screening methods Malibu used, and because so many of you use 'punter phones' it makes it very difficult. It would be lovely if us indies could afford personal security to sit in the next room, but could you imagine what we would actually have to charge if that were the case?

Last week I had to eject a mother fucker from a shared in-call space after I heard a provider yelling in distress from one of the rooms. I busted in and she said he had repeatedly tried to finger her butt after being told NO, repeatedly asked her for N A T U R A L oral and sex, and the last straw he had tried to choke her without consent. He also tried to use his considerable size and strength against her. He was about 6 ft 5 and extremely solid build. I told him he needed to leave immediately or I would be calling the police, he still tried to argue that he did nothing wrong. He eventually left with much feet dragging and excuses and I informed him he was banned from the premises forever and we had his face on ring cam.

The next day he attempted to book one of our other indies for an out-call, knowing he was banned from the in-call. Thankfully we have our own internal alert systems that I will not detail, but thankfully she clocked him and the booking did not eventuate. But the fucker still tried. I would also like to point out that he was not Indian.

I am really interested to know what 'screening and security measures' do you guys think we should be using? And what hoops are you would be prepared to jump through for our safety to see us. Genuine question.
 
Last edited:
H3Kevin said:
Please, Log in or Register to view quote content!
Click to expand...
Your advice came from a very well meaning place! I think part of the problem here is that we're already doing as much as we can to keep ourselves safe. There isn't really any way for us to take more responsibility - all we have left at this point boils down to deposits and pre-screeing for proof of identity, which clients are naturally resistant to.

It gets particulary tricky when bad clients will absolutely try to hack our strategies. I've seen several conversations here over the last year that share ways for getting around one barrier - and most comments took the tone that its an annoying inconvenience. I've only seen one or two comments in response suggesting the poster review their own behaviour before booking again.

I'm a big fan of second chances, but it needs to be pointed out that cutting around our defences is that second chance, and not just a way to keep behaving poorly. Even if its only presented as a way to avoid getting thrown out of a booking with no refund.
 
AvaMILF said:
Please, Log in or Register to view quote content!
Click to expand...
The pillar of escorting and punting is discretion, anonymity and trust. WG's do not use your real names and punters don't, or certainly not their last names. We may each divulge more about our real selves over time and repeat visits, but certainly not the first one.

There is no way I am going to feel comfortable providing my full real name, drivers license or passport pic, let alone the associated details. Fuck!

In regards protections, most if not all WG's do not accept blocked calls so they have the punters number, burner notwithstanding. Then many have security cameras at their premises, The door is opened discretely when the punter arrives, and if you do not like the cut of his jib it is not opened any wider. A couple of my regulars have not infrequently turned people away at the door because they were not comfortable about something.

Call me a naive punter but are we trying to fix something that is not broken?
 
Oh and for many punters they are in relationships, so doing the dirty on a WG they run the risk of the old WG revenge and him being outed. So the vast majority of us like to stay under the radar and not draw unwanted attention to ourselves!
 
AvaMILF said:
Please, Log in or Register to view quote content!
Click to expand...
Thats absolutely crap and mother fucker doesn't really sum it up enough. That shit makes me angry and hits home all the harder when its someone you know. If I had been present in another room once dressed all 5ft fuck all of me would off helped as best I could.
AvaMILF said:
Please, Log in or Register to view quote content!
Click to expand...
Treading carefully on this one as you have told me off before in a similar conversation hahaha.

I'm the sort of person thats prone to getting in trouble in life just cause I have a dumb arse brain with a glitch or two.

As for hoop jumping I wouldn't give any more details than I already do. If I am going to book someone or they share some details like bank account, face out photos etc they use to get all info needed. If I am not sure about sharing they will often have another SWer i trust that they could contact. Even your lovely self will have my details somewhere even though we have never met in person except this account (will sort that).

When I started punting 6 years ago I wouldn't of had an issue with most of the Aussie screening model. Now if I cant communicate through SM platforms or emails first I am unlikely to book anyone using my phone unless recommended by another SWer.

Why; I have seen clients details put out there for what I personally didn't think was safety related. Also I have had my number passed on/or threatened to a twice over 6 years following comms misunderstandings nothing booking related. My trust in my detail's being treated correctly is lower than it was.

While the crap SWers face is worse than what I will as a client, personally think there is a way to go in the professionalism across the industry as a whole.

I wouldn't provide more than what I currently do which I think is enough not to hard to use if they had to but importantly not too easy. As for Passport, Licence and specific work details, hard no for me currently.

I don't think there is an easy solution that will work for all SWers in the industry. My ideal would be that myself and the SWers I see were both comfortable using real names.
 
Last edited:
ElodieEvans said:
Please, Log in or Register to view quote content!
Click to expand...
I don't know what else can be done.

I'm just annoyed by how suggestion of "please look out yourself" or "take caution" is viewed as victim blaming.

We are limited in how we can help, and I doubt many of us here support abusing WG.

I'd suggest if things gets hard, go work under an agency with proper security in place, but being from the other side of the fence, even I'm not sure if that's the answer.

Simply put... Us condemning abuse and encouraging good behavior will not be the answer to WG becoming ultimately safe, as buttholes will be buttholes irregardless of environment.

This actually reminds me of an article I recently read, which suggest NZ ranked the worst in domestic violence among OECD countries
 
H3Kevin said:
Please, Log in or Register to view quote content!
Click to expand...
Some agreement but only because its a term that I think is over used. End of the day you can only control your own actions.
H3Kevin said:
Please, Log in or Register to view quote content!
Click to expand...
Limited for sure but if one was to scroll through comments in here you will find plenty that aren't helpful.

Some could certainly encourage shit behaviour like;
  • language used when recommending a girl
  • discussing extras/bonus treatment that may not be offered to everyone
  • mentioning retired SWers and what the may be doing now
  • discussing burner phones instead of encouraging booking smarter
 
Last edited:
FullyShaved said:
Please, Log in or Register to view quote content!
Click to expand...

Thank you for perfectly proving my point FS. Im not saying those measures are what I think should happen, Im saying that is what happens elsewhere. And the difference with the anon names thing is, we use working names so we don't get stalked, murdered and discriminated against when applying for civi jobs, housing and bank loans and accessing healthcare and community resources etc. You guys use punting names in fear of your wives and partners finding out, our threat levels are definitely not the same. I was trying to illustrate that when we try to enforce more robust screening practices, for the most part clients do not accept them. Even asking for deposits is a bridge too far for many of you, even when we have discrete payment options.

I will assure you sweets, something is indeed very broken, and its not at our end. That fact that is thread and others like it exist is testament to that. At the beginning of the year I was stealthed by someone who cleared screening and displayed no red flags in the booking process, he seemed bloody lovely in fact, right up until the point in the booking when this happened.

I discovered after the fact that he had done it to several other workers with exactly the same MO, but using different phone numbers to avoid detection. I went through the invasive process of having DNA collected and making a statement, (though bless the incredible professionals at the 🍇 crisis centre who do everything possible to make you comfortable ). However I chose not to pursue it to him being charged due to me having a very full plate at the time, as it would have meant months - years in the court system and the risk of me being outed by the media for my troubles. This is a decision I now deeply regret because it means he is still out there probably doing this to others, something I will never forgive myself for. So I get to be the one feeling guilty as a result of his choices.

When I confronted him on it via text in the aftermath, he said "I couldn't help it, you are just too sexy". So in this animals brain, and many others like him, it was the woman's fault. Yes FS, I'll say it again, something is indeed VERY broken.
 
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top