Question to married punters

Slippin Joey said:
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Coming from another point of view, declining sex in a long term relationship doesn't always come about due to things like power plays, rationing, punishment and control. That sounds awful and I genuinely feel bad for anyone in a relationship with a person like that.

I've found that in long term relationships, even with best intentions and effort, sex does become routine and boring after a while. Men often just want something different. Doesn't even have to be great, just different. Like Arnold Schwarzenegger who banged his frumpy, latina maid, who objectively was not very attractive. My last 10+ year relationship, we had great sex, though that was usually twice a month. Every now and then it was an effort. Because 10 years of having sex with the same person cant not get a little boring. It becomes too familiar. Thats got nothing to do with being with the "wrong person". Its just how it is. Ive seen it with mates, marrying 10/10 knockouts, but soon enough looking elsewhere.
 
Where do you start on this topic ...
Me? Age 58 married 21 years, haven't had sex with my wife for 10+ years.

Divorce is a stupid option for me. You marry a community, not a partner. Her, her family, your family, expectations of work colleagues, friends, children. Money, mortgages, division of responsibility. It is not a cliche to say that marriage is an institution. It is designed to keep people bound to each other out of obligation for the stability of things such as children.

In a more logical world relationships would run their course, people would part ways, find others.

As to @NatashaPetrova's comment about not choosing the right person, I fire back a bit of Russian literature;

"All happy families resemble one another; all unhappy families are unhappy in their own way" - Tolstoy

No one can predict how a partner will be in 20 years' time.

Marriages fall into unhappiness because of loss of connection. Once it is lost, it is nearly impossible to find it again.

At my age I don't want novelty sex I want connection. You would be astonished how "real" conversations with a paid SW can become compared to the day to day BS in the wider world. Conversations inside 4 walls that you can't have with anyone else outside those 4 walls. I have been able to find that with a small number of regular SWers. That is all I need.

My marriage will continue to do what it is supposed to do and no more; provide stability. It has been years since I worried about the state of it. It doesn't trouble me. It is just life.
 
White Paper Fan said:
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I was trying to avoid it, but i will share.
I have been with the same partner for 15 years.

I can only benchmark my partner against my previous girlfriends:
1. big titty blue eyes: a complete subservient cock sucking whore - she would beg me to let her suck my cock. i used to withold my cock from her as a form of abuse like women do to men in marriages. her sucking my cock was a privelege for her. i would face fuck her, cum on her face. if i fucked her in the pussy, it was a real treat for her. I also fucked her in the ass whenever i wanted, and did a 3 some with her friend a couple times. When we fucked she would usually orgasm 5-10 times. when we broke up, she begged me to let her keep sucking my cock on occasion. which i did allow for couple years after, and she thanked me for it. eventually she moved cities. needless to say this relationship had a serious imbalance of power and was a bit fucked up.
2. petite asian Anal queen. this girl was so horny, she wanted to fuck all the time. when we were fucking, it got really dirty, she would always beg me "do whatever you want with me Oldmacdonald". She loved getting fucked in the ass, and i filled her ass with cream routinely, 3-4 times a week til her hole was raw. lots of ass licking and general ass play. choking, spanking, verbal degredation. she wasnt keen on swallowing my cum or facials, but she was pretty liberal otherwise.
3. big booty brunette whore. this girl loved to fuck. wanted occasional anal. a bit selfish in regards to blowjobs sometimes. she was the least freaky of the three but still wanted to fuck 5-6 days a weeke

All these above girls, i would fuck 5-7 days a week. all these girls i had developed sub/dom dynamics with. we werent into whips and chains, but they were all subservient whores to me. it was just the natural progression, i guess i was a dominant guy. i just couldnt respect these girls.

Then i met my wife in my late 20s. We fell in love very deeply. we have developed a little bit of a sub/dom dynamic, but far healthier. my wife pushes back a lot more, and has a lot more self respect than my previous partners.

With my wife, I will say, that the sex we shared early in our relationship was not as hot and steamy as these previous girlfriends. but it was still pretty good. we got a little bit freaky. tried anal a few times. frequent ass licking, cunny/blowjobs all the time, the odd facial. sex probably 2-3 times a week for the first few years. which was a bit of friction for me, as i was a 5-7 times a week guy.

Now 15 years later, we might fuck once a month. big slowdown once our firstborn arrived. I Still get an occasional blowjob or rimjob. but its not like im pestering her for it. the reality of busy lives, kids, and 15 years of being together, is the flame has just died down.

We get along very well, i really appreciate her, and im certain i chose the right woman. we still have good chemistry and laugh a lot. our relationship is in good knick.

But i am still a hot blooded man, and i need hot sex. occasionally one of my exes will reach out to me over the years. i do the respectful thing (to my wife) and ignore them, block them. but i would be lying if i dont fanatasize about those old days with those slutty whores. and those fantasies can consume you. you develop and extreme itch that you need to scratch. I'm not going to start an affair. After years of practicing self restraint (which has all sorts of negative effects on you), i caved in. I scratch my itch out of the house, with pay to play.

a hot and steamy sex life, does not mean a solid life partner. im very glad i never wifed up any of my exes, i know we would not have the solid relationship i have with my current wife.

So I'm sorry @whitepaperfan, @Natasha, no offense, but when it comes to relationships, unless you've lived it, at least a decade of it... you will never understand
 
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OldMacdonald said:
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Your story does really give food for thought - I do admit, I don't understand, however your post does give me some valuable insight.
Glad that you decided to share - in between the punting review posts on this forum, knowing more about the general life of fellow punters really does help to create a sense of community.
Hopefully we can beat AF soon...

JohnnyPunter said:
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I agree.


SheSaidWhat said:
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Marry for stability and punt for fun? 🤣
 
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White Paper Fan said:
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Stability you say. After the first few years my marriage became constant turmoil. I didnt see it at the time but now looking back I can see the missus was an abusive narcissist. I acknowledge marriage works for some but not for me. After 20 years I just up and left. The look on her face was priceless. I just went dating. I got plenty of sex. Hookups were easy to find if you are active. I joined a dating club. I got a lot of hookups from it. Only problem was after 20 bonks or so they wanted more. I only moved to punting for the variety especially since I had developed a taste for Asian women. Punting is also more cost effective than a wife. Yes you do take a financial hit from a divorce. Not insurmountable though. I was on good money and rebounded. Took a while but I now have my own home. Good income. I took a mental note. Don't do it again. Surprising how many jump out of the pan and into the fire. Anyway that's my experience.
 
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JohnnyPunter said:
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It is a group for 30 to 60 year olds. It is called a social club. The members are mostly single. It was 60 x 40 women to men. Chance to meet others in a social setting. My dating club tag is not how they position it. But that's why I joined. I'm not involved anymore but anyone in my area interested PM me.
 
disability. kids.

20 years together, "mild" spine injury 15 years ago. got to the point I've stopped trying to initiate as constant rejection due to her condition. (always in pain etc) no nookie for 10 months ish now, I've given up.. she suspects me so google maps sharing on my phone makes punting life harder. can't divorce, kids and splitting my company shareholding untenable.

only hope is next spine surgery that's on the radar.
 
I'm a happily married man who love his wife a lot.
Since getting married our sex life has been decent, but very vanilla.
My wife is really reluctant to try anything else, which I can totally understand.
It makes her really uncomfortable actually to talk about it.
On top of that since getting married, she's been getting a lot fatter. So have I, so i am not judging here.
At home we're both often exhausted from work and having to take of the kids when heading to bed.

I have married her later in life when I was already a regular punter and as such I have been exposed to different styles.
There's also something about it for me to try out a nice young girl every once in a while, I guess I'm addicted.

So for me punting is a lifestyle to get my freak on and in a way I believe it actually helps our marriage without me getting frustrated.
Call me hypocritical, but this is just the way it is.

I do keep great care of not letting my wife know. It's actually not that big an investment to get yourself a different SIM and stick it in that old phone you still got lying around for all your punting business.
 
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